Who is loved more? How to be loved? How to become worthy of love? How to find your love and keep it?
What are they like a real man and a real woman, beloved and loving? How do they differ from an ordinary normal person who is eager to find love?
As you have already noticed, very often they love and still love (.) not the most beautiful, not the most intelligent, not the most infallible, not the most secure-the desire to improve their financial situation and love for the person himself is not the same thing.
But always, when they really love, they love those who are not afraid to open up, to be a whole person in the full sense of the word, who has both strong and not so strong sides. Who can afford to show their weaknesses to others, knows about them himself and at the same time continues to treat himself well, values himself, considers himself worthy of love and respect. What is it – self-confidence, megalomania, inflated conceit? No, it’s just the ability to understand yourself, your desires, aspirations, motives, the ability to understand yourself, and accept yourself as you are.
What are disadvantages? This is a stereotypical assessment of appearance, character, mind, etc.To go beyond the stereotypes, you need to allow yourself a broader outlook, turn on your brains, do not look back at someone else’s opinion, even if the majority, or the words of authorities. In fact, the shortcomings are the continuation of our advantages, and there is no one without the other. Any advantage in any situation can become a disadvantage, and any disadvantage-a virtue. I will give an example: the ability to light up in the company, to be sociable – in the family circle, the husband can perceive as excessive talkativeness of the wife. Or in the same company of friends-as a desire to attract all the attention only to yourself, taking it away from others. How do the most sociable people live? It depends where and how. They, as a rule, are hard to bear forced loneliness due to lack of communication.
As for the shortcomings, how do people who love and are loved manage to get along with their shortcomings in peace? They present them as their highlight, a business card, something that distinguishes them from others, something that inspires additional sympathy for them. Imagine how boring it would be to live if everyone was perfect and, therefore, similar to each other!
The one who accepts himself along with his own shortcomings is tolerant of the other’s shortcomings, and this makes him even more loved. The one who deserves love does not cling to it like a drowning man to a straw, he carries the source of love within himself and can afford not to change in favor of another, even a loved one. If it changes, it is for its own sake, because it has decided so, and not under the pressure of circumstances or the opinions of other people. And no matter how “strange”, as a result, they love him even more because of this, they feel more respect and admiration than those who, in the pursuit of love, are ready to stand on their own throats and change their principles. And it is obvious that the one who does not betray himself is not inclined to betray another.
To be loved, you don’t have to be perfect or pretend to be something you’re not. Playing other people’s roles-you can not find your own happiness. It is enough to allow yourself to open up one hundred percent, and show all the best that is already in you, and not be ashamed of your shortcomings – everyone has them! Everyone deserves true love for who they really are, not a copy or a parody of someone else. It is impossible to please everyone, and it is not necessary, there will always be people who will accept you for who you are and people who will not like you.
But the worst thing is not to allow yourself to be yourself and still feel the lack of love.
Putting on other people’s masks, we are doomed to live in eternal fear and suspicion that they love not you, but the one whose role you are now playing, they love you for your fictional virtues. To live someone else’s life, even “for love”, means to constantly control yourself, not allowing you to relax for a minute, this is not life – this is a nightmare in reality. And he has not brought happiness to anyone yet. Moreover, there is another absolutely proven way to earn love – just allow yourself the freedom of expression, the will for the real you!
Allow yourself to be yourself and accept yourself as such, because that’s all you have. But this “everything” is all you need to be loved. Treat yourself first as you would like to treat your loved one and he treated you. Be tolerant of your shortcomings or treat them with humor.
Love yourself completely, with flaws, weaknesses and do not stifle your virtues out of fear of mistakes, let your abilities flourish – then you will be loved, whether you want it or not! But you deserve love right now, just because you are!