I like mature women.
What to do?
A psychologist and a sexologist talk about why men may like older women and whether it is worth building a relationship with them, writes intex-press.
— I’m 26 years old. I’m single. A year ago, I broke up with a girl: she is my age, we met for about six months, but then I realized that I was not interested in her. I didn’t plan a relationship after her. I wanted to have fun, enjoy life. I decided that I would still have time to meet “the one” and start a family.
And recently I realized that I like adult women who are 10-15 years older than me. With them, I find it interesting, fun, they “do not nag the brain” and do not require anything, unlike young girls. I feel comfortable with adult women.
However, such relationships do not last long and end with sex. I noticed that most often I am the initiator of the breakup. In my heart, I understand that I want to start a family with a girl my own age. But for some reason, I don’t even notice the girls my age.
It scares me that because of my” specific ” interests, I may not find a girlfriend. I have no idea how to start a family with a woman who is 15 years older than me. I even get scared. And what to do in this situation, I do not know.
Anastasia Kapustinskaya, psychologist, Gestalt therapist:
– On the one hand, age is a rather arbitrary thing. Everyone grows up differently. I am sure that there are 26-year-old girls who are not inferior to older ladies in their wisdom. But it is also worth considering such a factor as life experience. It appears over the years. The more years – the more experience. Experienced people can be more tolerant and emotionally resilient in many life situations. Perhaps that is why it seems to a young man that it is easier with adult women.
In this situation, the guy did not have a serious relationship with mature ladies, so it is unlikely that he fully understands whether it is easier with them or not. The only way to find out is to try it. I, as an adult woman, can say that it is also different with us. And the experience with one of the partners will not protect you from all the difficulties that may arise in a new relationship.
When agreeing to a long-term relationship with a large age difference, it is worth remembering a few things:
Difficulties are created not by age, but by different upbringing, the difference in cultural values. Over the years, the senior partner will age more quickly. The younger one needs to prepare for this, and the older one needs to be ready for the” eternal youth ” of the second one.
If all this does not frighten the partners, you can try such a relationship.
However, I would advise you to try to communicate with young girls. There are many nuances in communication in social networks and on dating sites. First, there you communicate by text. And ” yes ” can mean both joy and annoyance. Secondly, it is much more difficult to feel the body response: how much you like the smell of a person, facial expressions and voice.
Therefore, I would highly recommend making decisions after personal acquaintance. Real people can be much more interesting than their “screen version”.
Vasily Shevlyakov, sexologist:
- From a professional point of view, I can say that the difference between partners of less than 10 years is not considered critical and is quite common. Especially if the man is older than his chosen one.
However, recently, more and more men choose women older than themselves, including more than ten years. This happens because men are attracted to their self-sufficiency, independence and independence. Also, mature women are less affected by social stereotypes. They are financially secure and more sexually experienced.
Often men choose adult women not because of their merits, but because of their fears and negative experiences. Guys are afraid of responsibility and worry that something can go wrong not only in sex, but also in relationships. And a mature woman can take the solution to many problems on herself.
Sometimes in such relationships there is a mutually beneficial exchange. A woman helps a young guy to cope with his fears and become a man, and he helps to maintain a woman’s self-esteem in the sexual, household and material parts. Such relationships exist as long as they satisfy both partners in growth and development. After that, most often the relationship ends and people switch their attention to their “age group”in order to maintain a longer-term relationship, but with different goals.
Therefore, attraction to mature women is normal, although it may arise, just to satisfy some of their needs.