Strike up a conversation with a stranger.
Let’s talk: how to strike up a conversation with a stranger at a social party.
Social gatherings, and just parties in the “extended format”, when you find yourself among, of course, pleasant, but unfamiliar people, are not uncommon today. What to do so that the evening was not in vain, and you could enrich yourself with new connections or, at least, get invaluable experience of communication, – says a Russian Parisian from the Denis family.
Denis has been organizing social charity parties in Moscow and Europe for many years. The level of her activities is indicated, for example, by the fact that guests are registered for a charity dinner with Alexandra in a few weeks. An interesting detail: strangers are invited to these parties. D carefully prepares the guest list so that it is equally divided between men and women. A group of friends can’t go to the same party. In general, such social dinners among strangers are a French tradition, with its own rules and laws of the genre. So, the hostess of these evenings is more knowledgeable than anyone about how to behave at a party where you do not know anyone, and what you can (and can not) talk about with strangers.
So, you found yourself at an event full of pleasant but unfamiliar people. What to do and what to talk about (not to be silent all evening)?
First, do not hide your eyes . Even better, smile. And go ahead-approach any person (preferably someone who managed to catch your eye and smile back) and introduce yourself. “I’m so-and-so, and I don’t know anyone here, do you?» The ice will start to melt.
Ask for help . The more primitive the question, the better. For example: “Do you happen to know where they pour it? “Or:” Can you help me carry these glasses into the living room?» (if the party is a home party).
Attack the organizer – he will introduce you to everyone . At house parties, the most interesting thing usually happens in the kitchen. If the cooking is still in full swing, offer your help. And even better-without an offer, start cutting cheese, frying bread for bruschetta, arranging plates – and involve your team of assistants. Working together brings us very close.
There are three topics that are not discussed with strangers . These are religion, politics, and medicine. You do not know the views and state of health of your interlocutor-so you risk one graceful movement to step on all his calluses at the same time.
And there are three topics that are guaranteed to be suitable for conversations with anyone : the weather, art, and discussing the place and conditions in which you met. They are boring, but safe.
A woman today has every right to start a conversation with a bored stranger nearby. This is a great achievement of women’s emancipation. The disadvantage of this emancipation is that modern gentlemen do not consider it their duty to entertain the interlocutor with all their might, and they are no longer taught this in schools. So, when you start a conversation, be prepared for the fact that you will have to support it yourself, and you will be giggled, blushed and modestly silent in response.
Starting a conversation with a compliment is the right thing to do . “What earrings! What is it?”, ” How difficult it must be to do such a hairstyle!”, “Your dress looks like the one that Jackie Kennedy was married in” – all this is perfect for girls. For men, compliments have to be more difficult to invent, but you can always catch on to a tie.
Everything becomes much easier if there is at least something special in the appearance of your intended candidate (and this is not a bald head or a false eye). In the beautiful TV series “The Big Bang Theory” there is an episode in which the hero (a sociopath – they are all sociopaths there, except for Penny) showed up at a bar with a large green kerosene lantern from a comic book store, and all evening was forced to fend off beautiful girls who stood in line for the subject to meet. Because it’s one thing to talk to a strange man in a bar, and quite another to talk to a strange man in a bar who has a Green Lantern. So if you want to be a magnet for spontaneous conversations today, take care of some interesting detail of your appearance. A McDonald’s print dress (I’ve seen one at Moschino, where the big prankster Jeremy Scott now works) – and you won’t have to look for topics of conversation all evening.
Don’t ask questions head-on. “Where do you work?”, ” Where did you serve?”,” Are you married?”,” Do you have children? ” – oddly enough, but sometimes such a simple questionnaire can drive a person into a hellish dead end. And what should he tell you? “I was laid off the day before yesterday, I was cut off from the army in a dope, I am in the stage of permanent divorce, and I seem to have a child from one of my classmates, but I have never seen him, and I do not know if it is a boy or a girl”? And with age, be careful, especially if you talk to a woman. You consult her about the Filipino nanny, and she will have to explain to you (in the presence of that interesting young man over there) that her baby is already twenty-three years old and she is going to the last course of chemical technology. Only the most vague statements in the style of “What do you do in life?”are appropriate.