Did the boss fall in love with you?
Does your boss often praise you? Does the boss have to call on the weekend?
Does the supervisor laugh at every joke you say, even when it’s not funny?
If you’ve noticed all of the above, then maybe the supervisor may have feelings for you.
“It’s hard to say for sure if someone has personal plans for you, or if this person is just friendly, so I caution anyone to deal with such a dilemma straightforwardly. We should be very careful, because misinterpreting intentions can embarrass both parties and even damage their careers, “says Michael Kerr, international business speaker and author of The Humor Advantage.
Below are 16 signs that your boss has feelings for you.
- You have strange feelings.
“In a situation like this, most people start to doubt their suspicions at first, but sometimes there’s an inner voice telling you that there’s something awkward about the relationship between you and your boss, “says Lynn Taylor, an expert on national labor law, a leadership course coach, and the author of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant.
“Instincts are not whims. Your subconscious mind should be considered. It is a combination of hundreds of facts, the end result of which is an emotion or a physical feeling — in this case, discomfort or irritation. If you are alarmed or annoyed by this situation, it is possible that you are right.”
- The boss flirts.
“Observe how the boss treats other colleagues before you draw any conclusions,” says Kerr. “The boss can be a very sociable person who just acts like that with everyone. And even if the boss flirts with you from time to time, again, think about his attitude to other colleagues — he can simply be a flirtatious person who does not harm anyone.”
And also think about your own actions. Maybe the boss is flirting with you simply because you yourself paid him ambiguous attention? Be very careful when interpreting someone else’s intentions.
And if you have determined that the manager is flirting only with you, and this is not the result of your behavior towards him, then this is an obvious sign that the boss is crossing the boundaries.
- The manager regularly sets up private or even nightly meetings.
“If your boss occasionally asks you to stay late after work hours and finish a joint project,” that’s one thing, says Taylor. “But if you start to notice that this kind of overworking is becoming a trend, and there are too many unnecessary private meetings with your boss-then your boss is probably trying to go beyond the professional sphere.”
Keep in mind that if you are uncomfortable with refusing these actions, and you continue to fulfill the same requests, then most likely everything will only get worse.
- The boss calls and writes to you for no particular reason.
“Most managers have a heavy workload, so when they take time out to just call you for no real reason, it can also be a sign that they’re thinking about you a little more than they should,” Kerr says.
- Body language and eye contact.
“Pay attention to the eye contact and gestures of the boss. If you catch them frequently glancing in your direction or maintaining eye contact for longer than you’re comfortable with, that can also be a sign, ” Kerr says.
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- The boss makes allowances for you.
“Such indulgences may occur simply because managers respect you and trust your abilities, but if this turns into overt favoritism — for example, they offer you opportunities that they do not think you deserve – then this may be a sign that they like you too much,” Kerr notes.
Taylor agrees with this idea and says the following:
“Bosses can provide you with better projects, give you more time for mentoring, invite you to frequent “business” lunches, offer you more flexible working hours, or other perks. Sounds great? “Well, unfortunately, favoritism in the workplace can lead not only to the dissatisfaction of other colleagues — it can lead to a hostile work environment, to complaints from other employees, and can even lead to a court case.”
- Your superiors trust you too much.
Does your boss share news and personal secrets with you that he is unlikely to share with anyone else in the office?
“Yes, they can do this because they trust you, but also such frankness can be aimed at deepening the relationship by sharing intimate things. It’s a proven way of getting closer, ” Kerr says.
- You get “inflated” promises from your boss.
“A boss who has romantic ideas may intrigue you with seemingly exaggerated views of your great future at the company,” warns Taylor. “When your work prospects, as described by your boss, seem suspiciously rosy, take a break and look at the situation sensibly.”
- The boss invites you to spend time together outside of work.
“It may just be a conversation over a cup of coffee after work, but if it goes in addition to other signs, it can also be a distinctive sign,” says Kerr.
- The boss began to change his appearance often.
“New outfits, new haircuts, and more attention to detail can be a sign that a person is hoping to catch someone’s eye at work. And perhaps such transformations are aimed at attracting your attention, ” Kerr notes.
- The manager values your opinion more than anyone else’s.
Again, this may just be because the boss values you and trusts you as an employee, but if he asks you to contribute to his personal problems, then that’s already weird.
“Asking your boss for advice in your personal life may be completely innocent, but it can also be a ploy to figure out how you really feel about him,” warns Kerr.
- The manager often makes compliments that are not related to the work.
“If compliments come to you non – stop, but they have nothing to do with work or sound inappropriate, then your boss may have plans for you, more than just friendship,” says Taylor.
“Compliments about your looks, fashion sense, or amazing personality are particularly strong indicators,” Kerr adds. “Ambiguous phrases, such as’ someone will get lucky with you’, can be signs that a person is in love with you.”
If such comments make you feel uncomfortable, then contact the human resources department immediately.
- The boss gives you gifts.
“If everyone in the company gets a motivational mug on Valentine’s Day that has the inscription” We love our employees ” embedded in a big heart, then that’s great. But it’s not so cute if the “flirty” boss secretly puts candy on your table, ” says Taylor.
- The manager tries to get tactile contact.
Some people are just very touching, but if you think that your boss comes out of his office just to touch your knee, hand, or hug you as often as possible, then this is a tangible sign.
Again, if you’re uncomfortable, you should tell someone.
- The boss is easily amused, and he laughs at your jokes for too long.
“Excessive laughter at your jokes can sometimes be a great indicator of an interested person,” Kerr says.
- The manager is constantly trying to cheer you up.
“It can also be a form of flirting,” Taylor says.
“Humor in the workplace is necessary and helps build rapport, but there is a difference between simple fun and the attitude of a boss who flirts or teases only you, hoping to cause a similar reaction.”
If your boss is mostly in control, but constantly “spinning” around you, then this is also a sign. “A playful boss who pokes fun at you or makes unwanted advances is a particularly serious problem, and you should take immediate, proactive steps to stop such attempts.”