I want to be loved so much! Without love, life can be full and fun, exciting and contented, but as long as a person is alive, the heart still asks for love. And when the heart asks and the head turns off, confusion begins: what is it about-love or falling in love?
Love and falling in love have many common features and signs. You are drawn to your beloved, you want to snuggle up to him, thoughts tend to him, when he appears, your attention is drawn to him like a magnet. “that’s true, but this feeling may not yet be love, but only infatuation. And how to figure it out? How can you tell if it’s love or infatuation?
​​​​​​​​​​​​​​If you want to understand whether it is love or infatuation with ANOTHER PERSON For YOU – you are more likely to be in love. If you are more concerned about whether YOU really have love, and not just falling in love – there is a high probability that you are on the road of love.
A young man explains his love to his beloved girl, she listens to his words with pleasure and trepidation. How will the young man then answer the question: “How do you feel now?”
If he answers: “I was very afraid if I could find the right words, if I would get a refusal!” “great, he’s in love!” But this is not love yet.
If his answer is: “I am so grateful for her support, I felt her excitement all the time!” – he is probably in love, but it is obvious that he already knows how to love at least somehow.
Why is that? It’s simple: when YOU THINK MORE ABOUT YOURSELF, it’s more like falling in love. When YOU THINK MORE ABOUT THE OTHER, it’s more like love. Love tends to get more, love-cares to give.
If, in the event of a disagreement, YOU STAND PRIMARILY FOR YOUR OWN INTERESTS, it is quite possible that you are also in love at the same time. If YOU CARE ABOUT THE TWO OF YOU in the event of a disagreement , you know what love is.
It is not obvious that your love is necessarily of the highest quality.
If you make your demands IN TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF (Why didn’t you call me?) “you’re in love, not in love.” If you are not afraid to make your demands IN TAKING CARE of HIM – you have not only love, but also love.
Let’s say your loved one began to lose physical shape: maybe he started to go to bed late, maybe he overeats. Moreover, he began to smoke again or began to allow himself to drink. If you are ready to put the question extremely hard and return your loved one to the right life and the right forms – you love him. And if you say “He will not listen to me anyway” and continue to meet with him – you like him, you may be in love with him, but this is not love on your part.
In true love, there is always and necessarily a demand, but the demand is also smart in taking care of the other. In love, as opposed to just falling in love, there is necessarily a MIND AND CULTURE. If the attraction is burning, but the culture is not ennobled – love has not yet grown to love. When the mind is clouded, logic fails – falling in love is possible, love is not. “I understand that it is impossible to call him now, but I want to call him so much that I am already calling” – you understand, this is not about love. Love is impatient, love can wait-not because it is weaker than love, but because love thinks not only about what you want, but also about what is important for your loved one.
My wife (she also consults) shared with me a case from her practice. The man told her about a woman he was madly in love with, was willing to do anything for her, but the woman, although she lived with a man she did not love, was not free, was married. The advice was important to the man, which is better-to forget her or to tear her out of that family? Marina asked him: “Tell me, what would be the best thing for her?” The man’s eyes stopped, and he paused, thinking. Then he said in surprise: “I’m sorry, I didn’t think about that at all. “
A lasting infatuation turns into a sick attachment, when I am afraid that I will be left without the one to whom I have become attached, and I am ready to curse the beloved if he leaves me without his love so dear to me. Lasting love grows into a warm attachment when I am happy to be around, but it is important to take care of how someone who is dear to me can live without me if something happens.
The lover wants to receive, the lover wants to give. When a lover says “I love you”, in fact, he says: “I want”, “I want to get”. Falling in love can be bright, but its results are beautiful only in works of art. If I love apples very much, what will be the result of my love? – Stub. Falling in love is a charm followed by disappointment. Habit kills infatuation, but it strengthens love. Love is a concern that only grows stronger over the years.
Love is much rarer than falling in love, and requires more depth and wisdom from a person. Love, as a reflection of culture, must still be cultivated. To fall in love, it is enough to be healthy. To be loving and loving, there is a lot to learn. Love needs to be learned, and love needs to be developed.
But just as the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step, so the road to love begins, as a rule, with falling in love. If you are looking for love, start with falling in love. Allow yourself to fall in love, but start teaching yourself while you are in love.
The formula of love and the formula of falling in love.
To make it easier to distinguish love from love, it is useful to find a Formula for love: a short phrase that expresses the essence of Love with a capital letter. The formula of love speaks about the giving attitude, the formula of love-about self-service, about quenching the inner thirst for love.