First of all, you need to understand that shyness is normal. This quality of character is inherent in any person. To one degree or another, we are all shy of someone or something. There is no need to panic and make a tragedy out of this natural phenomenon.
Shyness, or self-doubt, is most often caused by a lack of knowledge or experience in a particular area of life. Knowing these things, it is quite possible to understand the origins of your own uncertainty, and therefore be able to correct and overcome it. Very often, guys have difficulties in communicating with the female sex. They don’t know how to meet a girl if you’re shy, how to ask her out, what to talk to her about, and how to get her interested.
Believe me, a lot of young people, despite their age, life experience and even solid appearance, when communicating with girls experience difficulties. On a date, they become timid, forget the basic rules of communication, turn into silent people, or, on the contrary, become too cheeky and hooligan to the point of violating the rules of decency.
How to overcome shyness when meeting?
First of all, you need to overcome the fear of rejection. If a girl does not want to communicate, refuses to meet you, leave her alone. There are many other girls around and you don’t need to focus on one. At the very beginning of the acquaintance, a simple greeting phrase will do.
It will be even better if you immediately say some kind of compliment – it is always pleasant and encourages further communication. Just please be sincere when you say compliments. Insincerity, that is, flattery, is very easy to recognize. It always sounds ugly and causes distrust from the very first minutes of communication.
Try to be as natural as possible. Find a topic of conversation that interests both of you. If you don’t know where to start, try first, at your leisure, to make a mini – story about yourself, your work or hobby. Usually this is enough to form the first pleasant impression of a person.
Online dating.
Dating on the Internet is a good alternative to regular dating and an excellent training of communication skills. In social networks and on dating sites, there are a lot of girls who want to meet. Create a page in popular social networks-Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki, My World, Facebook. Post your best photo on the page, write a little about yourself – what you love, what you don’t like, what you are interested in and where you live. And then feel free to go in search of pages of girls. You can search for similar interests, places, hobbies, views on life, etc.
If you like a girl-feel free to write her a message. Try to be active and friendly from the very beginning. But no need to write: “I’m embarrassed to meet you.” Let this secret be only yours 😉 Keep in mind that the answers of the girls can be completely different. Do not be offended and do not worry if the girl does not answer you or writes something not very pleasant in response. The Internet is just a mirror of our reality and here you need to be prepared for any turn of events.
Start communication with the usual phrases: “Hello!”, ” Can I meet you?» When you overcome the first fear, you can come up with other, more interesting phrases. But don’t get too fancy. The first acquaintance should be natural and simple, there is no need to hone the skill of wit.
Dating in real life.
Previously, dating on the street, in transport and in other public places was the most common way. In fact, where else can you see so many people in everyday life and in familiar surroundings? Unfortunately, life in big cities is very hectic, and often we just do not have time to look around and do not notice the sympathy shown in our direction.
Try to develop the ability to contemplate, the ability to observe people. Notice interesting events, phenomena, do not be fixated only on your own person.So you can immerse yourself in real life, feel it, become more observant and not stingy with emotions.
At the club. It seems that nightclubs are a good place for dating. Many people gather here to relax, dance and have fun together. It’s all true. But often in such places there are much more guys than free girls. Therefore, you need to be prepared for serious competition.
Here you need to take into account the level of the institution, noise, loud music, etc. If you want a successful acquaintance, you need to be able to stand out from the crowd, be able to attract attention. In such a place, appearance, behavior, knowledge of etiquette and the ability to dance well are very important.
On the street, at school and at work.
And you can also get acquainted right on the street, in shopping centers, in cafes, in the park, on the beach – in general, anywhere. Yes, it is not easy, especially for the first time, especially for a shy person. But try it – you may be able to quickly overcome your fear and realize that most people have similar behaviors.
It’s the easiest place to get to know each other. People are bound by common interests, responsibilities, and a team. You spend a lot of time in the same room, for example, going to the same lectures, seminars, courses, meetings. You can often cross paths in the hallway, in the dining room, in the smoking room, in the locker room.
Under such circumstances, it is very easy to start the first conversation, ask for help or offer your own. Word for word, and now you have already started talking, discussed the general problem, work plans for the week and agreed to go home together. As you can see, there are a lot of reasons to talk to a classmate or colleague, use this advice.
Friendly gatherings.
It is very simple and easy to start communicating with a strange girl among friends. You are in a comfortable environment, surrounded by familiar people who will always understand and come to the rescue if something goes wrong. There is absolutely nothing to be shy about.
At friendly parties and holidays, there are usually a lot of invited girls. Your friend can help you meet your favorite guest, introduce you to her. If she is invited, it means that she is already familiar to your friend. Therefore, at parties, “all your own”, and dating here is a common thing.
Get carried away! The more diverse interests a person has – the more interesting he is to others. A passionate person always has something to tell, something to share. He is always busy and can tell others how and where to have a great time.
For example, many beautiful girls are engaged in dancing. And it often happens that for many pair dances they do not have enough partner. So become one! So easily and simply you will be able to “kill” several birds with one stone: get acquainted with the most charming beauty in the hall, learn how to dance coolly and in addition to tighten the figure.
You might as well go for other types of training. The more girls there are engaged in – the more choice and the easier it is to make an acquaintance. Yoga classes, sports, foreign language courses, car driving – but are there many places where there are a lot of different girls?!
Show a little ingenuity and observation, and you will understand how many opportunities a truly passionate person really has. A concert of your favorite band, an ice rink in the park, the premiere of a play – all this and much more will help you to make new acquaintances and become more confident.
Try a new one.
In addition to the Internet, the street and friends, there is another unusual way to get acquainted – it’s Fast dating. Here, experienced organizers arrange meeting evenings. Cozy cafe, convenient time, inviting atmosphere. Interesting and beautiful girls who, like you, want to meet. Try to go, then you will definitely have something to remember.
Take care of the appearance. With any method of dating, an important condition is a decent appearance. We must not forget that girls are pleased to meet and meet with neat, clean, well-smelling guys. Do not forget about the basic rules of hygiene, watch the haircut, the condition of the skin, nails, teeth and hair. Shave regularly or take good care of your beard if you choose to wear it.
Do not forget to wash and iron clothes in time, clean and repair shoes. Clothing may not be very expensive or exclusive. But it is important that it suits you in size and style. If you are a neat young man, familiar with the rules of etiquette, then you will stand out very favorably from the crowd and will be able to quickly win the favor of girls.
A little bit about etiquette. Try to follow the rules of etiquette in everyday life. A well-bred person is much more pleasant to deal with than a boorish type. These rules are not difficult to follow, but their application promises many new opportunities.
Any girl will be pleased if the door is opened in front of her, let her go ahead, smile and give way to the transport. Be friendly, look into the eyes of the interlocutor. If you see a hand outstretched for a handshake, you should definitely shake it in return. When meeting a man, it is mandatory to get up and introduce himself first.