Today we will talk about what to do if your wife has cooled down to you and you feel lonely in your relationship. It is very likely that you think that your beloved does not care about you or that she is no longer happy with you in marriage. You may even have thoughts that the relationship is bursting at the seams. But perhaps your spouse just needs some time and space? In this case, know that there are 9 methods that will help you return comfort, trust and mutual understanding to the relationship. Let’s discuss each of them.
Respect the differences.
When you and your wife first got together, everyone had their own ideas, stories, opinions, and interests. However, it seems that over time, some of your differences have changed and formed similar likes, dislikes, and views. For example, maybe you both started liking the same food or you chose the same hobbies.
Some of your common interests remain unchanged, but there is a chance that over time, you and your wife will form new views, leading to new differences. And although we sometimes forget about it, relationships require a deep respect for the differences between us. It is also important to know that having different opinions does not mean that someone is right and someone is wrong. Always respect differences of opinion with your wife.
Why is this so important?
But disrespect can greatly aggravate the situation, because this feeling is one of those that can generally destroy a marriage. More information about this is described in another article. By clicking on the link, you can read it and understand whether you yourself made one of the mistakes that provoked the cooling of your wife’s feelings, as well as learn how to correct the situation in this case.
Don’t take it personally.
It is important to understand that your wife’s need for privacy and personal space may not be related to you. In other words, don’t take it personally if she’s going through a stage where she needs some privacy, or maybe she’s struggling with inner demons. Be that as it may, understand that it is easier to calmly seek intimacy than to earnestly demand it.
And then what to do?
At the same time, if your wife sees and feels that you treat her with proper attention, try to understand and help, she will be grateful. This will help to break the ice that could arise between you. After all, mutual understanding is one of the main building blocks of successful marriages. So, giving your beloved attention and your participation, you will soon get the same in return. This principle works perfectly and helps to maintain a relationship in a couple. You can read more about it here.
Stop the harassment.
Often, when the husband is upset by the cold and distant attitude of his wife, he turns on the surveillance mode, there are suspicions that in fact may not be. Unfortunately, such harassment only worsens the situation. If your wife has made it clear to you that she needs personal space, it is very likely that she will distance herself even more.
How to react to this?
Therefore, it is extremely important to be patient. Believe me, it can work wonders and save marriages even on the verge of divorce, when everything seems to be quite bad. By the way, there is a separate article on this topic that is worth reading if you are concerned about your wife’s detachment. Review this material, it will surely tell you the options for getting out of such a difficult situation.
Slow down.
This advice is somewhat similar to turning off surveillance mode. To slow down is to be calm and patient with your wife. If you are a significant and powerful person, try to moderate your ardor. And if in life you are a bright and dynamic person with a habit of talking a lot and giving unnecessary advice, you also need to slow down.
This does not mean that your wife’s behavior is your fault. Just an outstanding character may not help in the case of cold behavior. There is a type of people who react badly to strong energy, and, perhaps, because of this trait of yours, a woman shies away from a relationship. So when you rein in your charisma, it will help her relax and feel lighter. You’ve probably heard it said that one spouse is emotionally overwhelming the other. Think about whether you have such a trait.
Give her some space.
If you have a habit of following your wife around, it’s time to step back a little. Fuss around a woman or voicing thoughts about her daily activities can lead to some claustrophobia. Moreover, it is one of the things that literally destroys a woman’s attraction to you, because you can tire her out with such behavior. And yes, there are other similar traits – here’s a small list-look it up and make sure you don’t do any of the things mentioned there.
And what can be done to make the wife feel more free?
Make dates, not make a diagnosis.
If you feel that your spouse has become distant and you want to get closer again, offer some common activity. Schedule multiple dates and set aside time for each other in your schedules.
The best way to restore emotional connection is to give the relationship priority, spending quality time together. No matter how much you are upset by your wife’s behavior, always remember that she will respond better to positive emotions than to criticism.
In addition, this is not just a good way to establish contact, it is, let’s say, an excellent” prevention ” of infidelity. And if you sometimes get the idea that your wife is estranged because she is thinking about someone else, use a few useful tips and try to restore trust and attraction between you.
Pursue your own goals, not hers.
It is easy to become arrogant if the wife behaves remotely. Therefore, it is important to focus on yourself while she is immersed in her thoughts. Think about what hobbies or projects you would always like to pursue, and just do it. Set some personal goals and work on them. Now is a great time to pay attention to the cases that you are interested in. This will help you get rid of your obsession with your wife.
Is this the way out?
Moreover – if you are really passionate about something, your wife will soon pay attention to it, she will be interested that you have some new concerns and hobbies. And this, you know, acts as a kind of aphrodisiac, because when a man is a real purposeful, interesting person, he automatically becomes sexy and desirable for a woman in every sense of the word. This is one of the 12 characteristics that attract women. So don’t apply to take advantage of it.
And in the context of your personal time, don’t forget about your friends and family. They’ll help you talk it out. Discussing the situation will not only help you cope with it, but also protect you from spilling your emotions on your wife.
Act kindly.
Just because your wife has become distant and cold doesn’t mean you need to step back completely. Of course, you should not aggressively pursue her, but you are allowed to act kindly and do cute things that will help her feel loved.
Yes, the idea is not new, but it can greatly help your marriage. Even a recent study by the Gottman Institute found that kindness is the only important trait a person needs for a healthy and loving marriage. Kindness is one of the most important qualities in a relationship.
What exactly should I do?
Such small emotional gestures will help to restore the connection between you, and not only emotional, but also physical. Because this is one of the most effective ways to re-ignite the spark in the pair. And you can read about other similar methods here.
Love for real.
You can’t control your wife’s behavior, but you can control your own. No matter how she behaves, always treat her with love. This is not easy to do if you do not reciprocate, but you signed up for it when you took an oath to be “in trouble and in joy.” Moreover, nothing breaks down emotional barriers like unconditional love.
Realize that your wife may behave this way for a number of reasons: perhaps she is struggling with depression or lack of self-confidence, maybe she has problems at work or she is tired of everyday scandals. Whatever the reason, don’t stop fighting for it. Because it is your determination in this direction that can help even if your wife is secretly thinking about divorce. Be patient, be kind, and show that you really love her. And here you will find some more tips on how to save a marriage in such a situation.
Remember that even the happiest marriages go through a stage where one of the spouses is cold or distant. If this happens, it is important to stay calm and friendly. Keep a positive attitude. Do not push your wife and do not demand an explanation.
Just stay close and do whatever you can to make things better for both of you. In addition, you can always use the tips of the program “Ex-Factor” to improve relations and prevent your beloved from becoming a stranger.